Delusions of Direction

I have come to a point in my practice, and life, where I’m questioning the point in my contempory practice ‘what is the goal?’, ‘is this really what I want to do with my life?’, etcetera ecetera. It comes after an unexpected resit of the last semester of year 3 on my course over summer in which I had many hours to discuss internally about where I felt my desires and creativity really fell, in art or in music?

Now at the beginning of 4th year, ‘the big one’, I am still unsure as to where I am seriously going with my practice, and in some ways don’t know if I’ll ever be sure. How can any creative person be sure of their goal when creativity is such a subjective and wholly temporal state? Writers have ‘writers block’, as artists have a form of ‘creative block’, and I assume all creative people fall prey to this lack of inspiration. I find the difference for me is my personal block comes willingly… well not willingly, but because of my own decisions to question the nature of my practice.

After a lengthy talk with one of my tutors, who in many ways is in the same situation (for lack of a better word) as me in that they are both a working art practitioner and a working musician, I still have no idea where to go, only that the possibility of a merging, a synthesis of my interests and skills, is both inspiring and intrinsic to finding my direction, or just a direction for my practice.


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